The Silver Linings of 2020

Hey 2020, don’t let the door hit you in the ass!! Though 2020 is a year I think the majority of us would rather “not count”, the reality is if we are lucky enough to be here, we survived — some of us more banged up than others.

I personally began writing this blog on day 13 of having Covid. I was dealing with the effects of brain fog, mild cold symptoms, fatigue and loss of taste/smell. Thankfully, I am past the window of contagion and for the most part feeling few residual effects. (I contracted it through family and not on the job. I’m happy to say our team has continued to follow CDC guidelines and I’ve been the only Silver Linings Transitions team member to have contracted Covid.) I wish I could say my 14 days in isolation was an opportunity for me to catch up on work and home projects and gather my thoughts for 2021 but the fog and fatigue enveloped my brain and I found I could do little but watch very mindless television and sleep. A friend asked if I was bored — I was without human contact for more than a week and completely alone in my room but my senses were so dulled I didn’t have the capacity for boredom.

Little did I know when I came up with the name Silver Linings Transitions for my senior move management company seven years ago, we’d face a global pandemic and “silver linings” “#silverlinings” would be one of the most tossed around words of the year.

2020 was meant to be my year. I celebrated my 50th birthday in January as well as the fifth anniversary of Silver Linings Transitions, Inc. The party was meant to be a kick-off fundraising event for the Senior Savers Foundation, a non profit organization with the intention of assisting underprivileged seniors with moves and move related expenses. I told everyone I was going to write the book “Good things happen when I don’t shave my legs” I’d had inside of me for years.

In January, I injured my shoulder in yoga, spent most of the month sick (not with Covid) and flew home to say goodbye to the stepfather who raised me.

All of us can find the things that went wrong in 2020. I definitely have enough material for a longer blog than this one. But I’d rather say “goodbye to 2020 and focus on the “silver linings” gleaned from the many hardships.

I didn’t get my book written. I didn’t get my podcast off the ground (though the cover sure is snazzy, isn’t it ;) ) and my business went from growing 30% a year to a 30% decline but I did build the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had and I’m realizing there’s a lot more to life than “achievement”.

For me, isolation began with the total shut down of my business and the first time in my life of spending time in complete solitude — no friends, no kids.

The slowdown gave me an opportunity to stop the running and really examine my life. I noticed a dating pattern of continuously attracting emotionally unavailable men. I was able to discover why the familiarity of my childhood relationships set me up for comfort in relationships that weren’t working for me.

I knew I needed an outside party to help me understand why I had no problem getting dates but a real problem sustaining a healthy romantic relationship. Through the work with my dating coach, I began to discover my own emotional unavailability — I firmly believe we “attract where we are at”.

When my boyfriend and I began dating, I looked for things wrong with him. He treated me in a way I wasn’t familiar with but the awareness of my past patterns, allowing myself to truly have the work/life balance I preached but felt guilty having and believing I both deserved and wanted a healthy relationship to model for my daughters kept me moving forward.

My boyfriend and I celebrated six months together on January 2 (or 4th) depending on who you ask. I count our first socially distanced coffee date when we walked around downtown Encinitas deciding if we would feel comfortable hugging each other at the end of the date. My boyfriend counts it as the night he cooked dinner for me and spent five hours talking on his couch.

If Covid hadn’t happened, there would have been a lot more game playing too. I never would have told him I was taking my profile down because I only felt comfortable dating one person at a time.

I had reunions with family and friends — for my father’s 75th birthday Zoom call and slide show; with my brother’s family in Israel right before Passover; with my high school youth group; and for Thanksgiving with my mom.

My mom moved into a senior community which gave me peace of mind knowing she was safer and around other people in case she needed anything.

My daughters and I had unexpected time to bond when my oldest returned home from her freshman year at Emerson College in Boston. We spent time doing art, having dance-offs, launching Power Princess Productions, a virtual princess visit company started by my eldest and completing college applications with my middle. My oldest got a job at Starbucks where she will be able to transfer to Boston. My middle got a job at a super fun donut shop in Encinitas, Broadstreet Dough Co. making vegan and gluten free donuts.

I discovered a beautiful hike where in only 30 minutes from my front door, I could make it to the top in time to catch the sunset.

I wrote a blog that got me noticed by a CBS This Morning reporter doing a feature story on dating in the pandemic. Only a couple months later, I met an amazing man I’ve been dating for nearly six months.

For work, we added some wonderful services — photo scanning and digitization — allowing us to organize and preserve family photos taking up space and disintegrating with the passage of time.

With the slow down in business, I completed coursework to get my Certified Divorce Coach designation. Many of our team members and clients are in the process of divorce and having coaching tools will better equip me to make any transition easier.

Together with Bryan Devore and the Devore Realty Group, we assisted clients both virtually and in person who were moving out of state or into senior communities. We even had a client who remained in Florida with family while we packed up her home, shipped her belongings and remodeled her home to command top dollar.

We added Aging in Place to better assist clients, like the stars of our second episode of Senior Savers, who preferred to remain in their homes and needed help doing so. We also built relationships with more San Diego resources who provided necessary resources, hosting a panel discussion to better educate consumers.

Bryan and I also co-hosted several Happy Hours for senior communities who were experiencing a dramatic slow-down in move-ins. We shared ways to engage their residents and to stay upbeat and positive, given everything happening in the world.

If you haven’t seen the SNL skit about a psychic who “predicts” 2020, it’s a must!!

If we learned anything from 2020, it’s that life really is unpredictable. Just as I didn’t expect to get cancer 16 years ago, (the catalyst for me changing my life and altering my career). “Silver Linings Transitions” represents finding the bright spots in a sometimes tough journey.

May you find many “silver linings” in 2021.