Reflections for the Jewish New Year…now pick up the damn phone!!
Tonight begins the Jewish holiday of Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year and the beginning of the Days of Awe. Much like the secular new year, this is a time for us to reflect on the year we are leaving and focus on how we want to show up in the new year.
Regardless of religion or season, each of us can begin anew, whenever we feel like it, not needing the holiday or delineation in time to reflect on our lives and determine if we are on the right path.
I’m mostly happy with my path. The slowdown in business has helped me to do more systemizing, improve marketing and social media and add some services which I believe close a gap in our offerings. I’m sad to have gone from 6 days a week in a yoga studio but this has opened up windows to hike more regularly (even venturing out alone which is something I never used to do). I am dating a wonderful man and I’m showing up in a way I’ve never done — aware of my insecurities and patterns and not allowing them to sabotage the relationship. As a parent, it’s been hard to see my girls struggling but I’m trying to “hold space” for their challenges and trying to think first of them and their needs versus how their choices reflect on me. (Parenting is a lot about letting go of ego but I’ll save that for another blog.)
I’ve also noticed life in the time of coronavirus has made me more withdrawn. I’m staying in a small bubble and discovering my introverted side. As someone who has typically liked to do things around other people, I’m not engaging much past the onslaught of Zoom meetings and in some ways, I’ve begun to feel like I have even less time.
As someone who’s sought validation from others by my deeds while also expressing love through ‘acts of service”, as I reflect on the last couple of months, I’m not proud of my lack of engagement for people who could really use it — mostly my senior clients.
I was writing out holiday cards to my Jewish clients — many of whom are living in senior communities. The thought occurred to me to deliver homemade honey cakes . Then I thought, I’ve never made honey cakes. I’m not especially fond of baking. And I don’t know when I’ll fit these visits into my busy schedule. (Though quite frankly, I’m not even sure I can account for my time but still feeling overwhelmed and busy.)
So honey cakes are unlikely in the next week but I’m starting to re-evaluate what I CAN do to make people’s life a little brighter and the momentum I’m going to need to get myself out of this vicious cycle.
Perhaps the most significant part of the holiday though and one all of us can learn from is the part where we make peace with those we’ve sinned against and let go of any resentments we carry — asking that no one be punished on our account.
I have a few friendships that didn’t survive the year — mostly because of unmet expectations or because I’ve discovered at 50, I no longer have time for emotional vampires.
A pet peeve of mine is those people who write a general “I’m sorry” to the world. It’s so easy to “write” something versus have an “in-person” conversation. It’s crazy to me that even to pick up the phone and call someone, we now need to send a text message asking permission first.
As I teach my daughters, the exercise of feeling uncomfortable is a growth opportunity. If there is a relationship in your life and things don’t feel “right”, I hope you’ll get out of your comfort zone and pick up the phone.
I personally have some phone calls to make.